Monday, January 17, 2005

In the beginning...

In the beginning, your "beginning", after your physical beginning, was the word, speech, and practically all child-speak is hostile; parents act as the instigators and invalidators in this dynamic, especially right after all the goo-goo baby-talk ceases... ("Johnny! Stop throwing food on the floor!"). Later, the grown-to-full-size-child (some call them adults, ha!) continues this outward invalidation of everything he/she hears.

Everyone's head, today, is a metaphorical cosmos of "core ideas", little sub-versions of the "core ideas", and clouds of debris fields swirling about the cranium. If you (can) look just a little askance, you can see it.

The sun, or one's sense of oneself (what one thinks/feels one truly is), is the "core idea". Spinning wildly but orderly, arms flailing, about that core, are words which have grouped together quite mechanically and quite semantically and congealed on several, quite distinct when seen, hidden when not, "points of view" - which are little sub-reflections, subversions, clones of the sun-point. And when one or another temporarily transits "into your view", you think it and believe it's you thinking.

The bodies, or planetoids, or concepts you can still remember (in this mental solar system) - mechanically deposited sensations in memory - are constantly smashing into each other, apparently non-destructively as in argument and debate and everyone talking at once, but also, at times, quite destructively as in real "learning" and "realization", and especially "new-realization" - leaving particle trails of broken phrases and tangled twisted logic-strings that get all knotted and clotted. These amorphous yet coherent threads are the ever-tightening asteroid belts that literally separate and sometimes strangulate the larger bodies, or concepts.

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